Writing therapy

At the point I have about 5 months of backlog, but there's some things that I need to get off my chest and personally the best way for me to do this is through writing. I've already started to tackle some of these issues privately through close and trusted friends and will continue doing that with matters that need to or I prefer to be private. At the same time I'll be using this blog for things that I don't mind being public. I don't expect to get much feedback when I'm using my blog as "writing therapy" if at all but it still helps a lot more than keeping it to myself, and I've figured out solutions just by writing my thoughts.

I'm going to start with a problem that was a bigger problem growing up in the church, and problem affected my grades in school than it has been in any part of my life (but thinking about it, it has probably had some kind of negative affect on every part of my life). My topic for this post is giving up easily and ended up not finishing a task, especially when it's something that needs to be done in writing. It's discouraging to think about it but it's something I've been working on reversing for a few years. It's also definitely Hydrocephalus related but it's a state of mind that can be caused by other underlying problems. It's a personal topic, but it's something that I know it's something people can relate to, with or without Hydrocephalus, or even a learning disability. I also mean it as a warning, so whatever it is they would cause someone to not do as well, rather it's grades in school or something else that at least partially they can at least start to overcome the problem earlier than later. I don't mean to say that it's a problem that everyone who see's this has, but based on prior research I've done for my blog and communicating with others with Hydrocephalus during the last several years I can say it's pretty likely.

Thinking back to school it was probably the biggest problem in the classroom, when it came to note taking. I couldn't focus on writing what I heard very well unless the teacher was very persistent about it, which I hated back then but I'm very grateful for it now. I could have gotten a late start to it but I wouldn't because I felt like a failure from the start. I had the same problem when it came to keeping up with planners and similar things, especially when we had to fill them at a certain time altogether in class but the idea was dropped a few days or a few weeks into the school year. That didn't matter though because I remember actually thinking from the very start that it wasn't going to work out so I didn't even try it out. I should have tried to think of a solution or approach someone for help, but at that point (6th grade), I had already grown to hate school. The transition from Elementary to Middle School ended up being a bombshell, and I made a personal decision to not really try at all, which didn't change until the last year or two of High School. I'm not sure how I ended up only being one semester late to graduating or how I finished at all. The result of not taking notes or trying to keep up with a planner was constantly forgetting homework assignments especially after I decided to not really care in the first place. The result of both not taking notes and not doing homework assignments were failing tests. The obvious end result was failing half my classes and having to take some classes up to 3 times. If I knew then what I knew now, I definitely would have pushed myself harder to write notes even when it wasn't seen as necessary (as in when reading a text book) because just by writing something down helps me a lot when it comes to processing that information. Like at work I need to write a list to remember what needs to be put out next (I'm a Produce Clerk for a division of Kroger). If I don't do it my memory fails me and I usually don't remember anything. If I do write down a list however I usually can remember everything that needs to be put out without having to go back and check the list. If I had done this in school I might have passed a few tests.

I grew up in the Evangelical church, and except for a 2 year period when I first really start to get fed up with the way my life was going, and how that related to God and Church. I've dug deeper on this subject before and I intend to again in the near future. Something that really frustrating me for a long time which really frustrated me as a kid, and in a different way as a young adult until I left the church a 2nd time was the note taking issue. When I was a kid it was filling out a little form in Sunday School, where there was a part typed up already and then a place that needed to be filled out. I recall started it usually but then I would lose my focus, and give up as soon as I missed something. There was a 2nd assignment that we had to do during the week that I always managed to not do, so that didn't help to encourage me to push myself a little bit harder.  When I got old enough to be expected to pay attention to a sermon, which was made worse when I decided to switch churches and taking notes was sort of expected. I couldn't process information from the sermon well, and I still had the same mind set that I had when it came to taking notes when I was in High School. Also when I got older everything switched to a bible study format which caused a lot of different other problems which I'll touch on at another time. 

There might be (and probably is) a bigger solution but what I know now that I wished I would have known earlier is being encouraged to (which usually means encouraging myself) to just pick up where I left track because it would help a lot more to miss a few points than to miss the whole thing. It's a really simple concept but if it wasn't obvious to me, I can assume that it might not be obvious to other people as well. I hope that the most recent time that it was mentioned to me wasn't the first, but it was better timing than any other time since I'm in the process against a lot things where the underlying cause is Hydrocephalus. It also fits in well with one of the major things I've slowly been working on, persistence. It's a uphill battle and I'll probably never get my persistence to the point where it could be if my skull wasn't a fish bowl and if I didn't have medical tubing pushed through my brain. If you're not aware of what any kind of brain damage or neurological disorders can and will do to your brain, I'll probably get crap for doubting myself and talking about persistence at the same time but unfortunately it's the truth. 

For anyone that's in school, or has a kid with Hydrocephalus or a similar condition that results in a learning disability I want to close with a tip. I'm not professional at all unless you need someone to pick out a good avocado or watermelon for you, but I'm writing this from my own experiences and what I've learned through personal research and paying a little more attention the last few years. My advice is to write down as much as possible (or at least when possible). I assume taking notes in class can be rough, but it might really help when it comes to studying at home. With notes it's might help to reminded that it's okay to miss some points as long as you try to focus again after you realizing that you're missing those points.

When it comes to church just being aware that it's okay to miss points during childhood Sunday School would have helped a lot. Taking notes will stick suck rather, and I'm glad that it's something that I don't have to worry about. The church I've been attending on and off for four years consistently has forms that is somewhat like the ones I described having in Sunday School class as a kid. I make it a point to always to fill them out, and just by doing that helps a lot. This is also something I wish I would have known a lot. I know that people who read my blog has many different views on religion but if you do ever attend some kind of religious service I definitely recommend trying to take some kind of notes, even if there's no form provided.If you have a kid with Hydrocephalus or a similar condition or are a Sunday School teacher or have a similar position to a kid with some kind of intellectual disability, no matter how small of one it wouldn't hurt to use a reminder if you see someone struggling. Again, I realize that not everyone can relate to the church part but I write a lot about personal experience, and it was a really big part of my life when I was a kid, and it's starting to become a big idea again but from a different perspective. 

Thanks for reading, I really hope you the reader got something encouraging out of this.

Media views on hydrocephalus:Billy Graham

I'm posting about famous people with hydrocephalus or characters with it whenever I don't have anything else to write about,or when I don't have a guest blog lined up for the week.This is my second time writing on this subject,and my first talking about a actual person.By posting about this person I don't mean to try to push my religion on people.He's just one of the first people I thought of when it comes to people with the public eye who has hydrocephalus.

Billy Graham is a well known Christian Evangelist,and one of the first to be well known with the general public.He started holding crusades and revivals in 1947 when he was 28 and continued doing them until he retired 6 decades later.His crusades are still held annually but now by his children and the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.He is also known as a spiritual adviser for several presidents.When he wasn't a spiritual adviser he still had some kind of personal relationship with many others from Harry Truman to Barack Obama.

he also had a friendship with Rev.Martin Luther King and supported the civil rights movement when many Christians didn't.He did a crusade with him in New York City with him in 1957,and bailed him out of jail after demonstrations in 1963.

Billy Graham was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus in 1992,but it still hasn't been well known in the  2 decades since.His shunt wasn't placed for several years,but when it was it helped with the symptoms of his Parkinson's.It was another several years before he had to have a revision in 2008.Since then he's continued to have health problems,but that's normal for someone his age.Unless it hasn't been in the news he hasn't had to have another revision in 4 years though.

I'm not sure what any future topics are going to be yet,so I may write more on this subject more during the several weeks,and I'm hoping to have others do guest blogs.Thanks for reading.


 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham

http://www.wral.com/news/state/story/2433569/

http://www.billygraham.org/

Memory

I haven't been writing much because of all the stress at work,so I've been forgetting to do a lot of things that I've struggled to do on a regular basis before.I'm going to talk about memory this week,because I know it's something that's hard to understand and more complicated than people may think.It's a common belief that it only happens with old age,and it doesn't help when it's something that's associated with a "invisible disease or condition".It's one of those things that don't always have to do with medical conditions and brain surgery either.For example one of my managers has similar memory as me,when it comes to excellent long term memory too but he has no medical history.
My memory is one of those things that I've always known was a problem,but I never associated it with having a neurological disorder because I don't remember having brain surgery and it was always just normal for me.I first realized that I have memory problems when I started going to a brigade type program when I was six.We each had to memorize a bible verse that was written on the white board,and they would erase one word at a time and we had to read it including the erased word.It wasn't a problem at first until more and more words were erased.By the end I couldn't remember what it said,and it would take me more help and at least a few more tries before I could remember it like everyone else.At the time I didn't think of it as having memory problems,because I wouldn't even have been able understand that.It was just something that made me different and made me struggle more,and I hated that.The second time  that my memory problems became more apparent to me was when I started junior high,at the same time that a lot of my other problems because more obvious.I had a hard time remembering what I had studied the night when I was taking the test,and if I managed to remember I couldn't remember it for much longer than that.After that the only major time that it has become real obvious is when I started working in Produce a little over a year ago,because of how much there is to remember.
When I say memory problems or short term memory loss a lot of people think of what I've already talked about or something similar.What people tend to not understand is that it can effect someone in a lot more of a major way,for me this includes constantly forgetting stuff,and having a very hard time trying to make and keep a routine.I've lost school supplies,a backpack,personal items and many many jackets because I tend to put something down,and then when I leave I forget I had it usually until it's to late,usually I don't remember until the next day.Up until a few years ago I only outgrew two sweaters,other than those I couldn't even making it one winter without losing a jacket.Some years I would lose two or three in one year.This included homework too,I would go home and I would just constantly forget to do it.Some habits that I couldn't keep sounds like it should have been really easy to remember to,like I would constantly forget to use my folders in school.I would just put it in my backpack and by the time I would remember about it,it would just be a crumpled up piece of trash in the bottom of my backpack.so I assume that's where my lack of organization skills came from too.
I assume that my memory has to do with my problems with learning new things too.when learning something new I usually can't do it at all until someone shows me one on one.
The good thing is that along with bad short term memory,I have a real good long term.there's things I remember from when I was a little kid,or even a toddler.I'm good at remembering info about people,and if given the time I can remember large amounts of info,at one point as a kid I would memorize tv schedules.it got to the point where my family started calling me the "human tv guide".thanks for reading,and hopefully I can write more sooner next time :)