Friday, March 23, 2012

how growing up with a neuro disorder effected my faith

By writing this I'm not trying to blame anyone or the church.I'm also not to try the force my beliefs on everyone.I'm writing about it because I know I'm not the only one to feel this way,and I want to share my experience with others so maybe they can understand what's going on earlier.

There are two mean reasons that ended up effecting my faith in a negative way.One had more to do with how people see me.The other has more to do with the side effects of brain surgery and having a brain condition in general.I'm gonna talk more about the second reason than that the first,because the first reason was more because of anger.When it comes to how people see me it was more than I just wanted to fit in,and that wasn't happening when I was living the "right way" so I made a choice to rebel.I still struggle because of making that choice,even if it was only on purpose for a few years.Now that I'm slowly getting back into read my bible,I've been finding alot of verses or sections that would have helped me alot back then.I know that at least a couple times,someone showed me verses that they knew would help me.But then again I don't know how many people knew what I was going on in my life at the time.

The second reason has to do with what I've been talking about,a mixture of side effects.This includes more than anything having a bad memory,and not being able to focus.Another one that I haven't talked about much is not being able to understand things at least at first,that others at least seem to be able to understand right away.As a kid I was taught that I should memorize bible verses,but that was something that I've never able to do.I'm sure that I can do it,but not in the time that was giving to me.For example when everyone in the same age group was given to verse to remember during the period of time,I always the last to rememeber it long enough to say it.I could do it,but it was discouraging to always be the last.Something else that I couldn't focus long enough in sunday school to finish the assignment that we had in class,and like the rest of my homework school,whatever homework I had in sunday school would never get done.The whole time I've never been able to remember to when my bible etc etc on a regular basis.Then later on it I started going to bible studies,and when sunday school was more in a bible study format I struggled with being able to focus,understand,and remember all over again.This seems to be worse in small groups than anything else.

Even if I was not told that I was,what I was not able to do made me feel like a bad christian.I'm now understanding that this is not the case,and I'm working on getting back to where I used to be when it comes to my faith and relationship with God.This time I've decided to base it on what it should be,not comparing it to anyone else.It's not that I don't want it to be like others,but I need to know that I'm not a bad christian because of this,and I'm not claiming that I am,because I'm not living the way I should be right now.With me it's more I can't or it's harder than me,rather than just not choosing to do it.Thanks for reading :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Effects of damage to different lobes of the brain

I've been really busy with work this week and I don't have much time and sit down and write,so I'm going to post a video I saw this week.It's a more detailed description of the side effects of brain injury.It talks about how it effects each lobe of the brain.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

2012 Phoenix Hydrocephalus Walk

Last year was the first that I participated in anything that has to do with my condition,other than a couple one on one conversations with people who also have the condition.Everything else has always been online.Last year other than signing up,I ended up putting everything off because of how much I worked last spring and summer.The result was going up to Phoenix,and going to the walk alone.This year I'm planning ahead,I've already signed up 8 months ahead of time.In the next few weeks I'm gonna start working on getting a ride up there,and getting other people signed up.Also I'm gonna try to figure out new ways of raising money while still in Tucson,and also using the ways that I was raised money last year.I encourage others to find a hydrocephalus assoc walk if you live in the states.It's not only a great feeling being able to raise money,but it's also a great experience to go to the walk itself,and be around people who know deal with the same things that you do.

If you don't have hydrocephalus or even if you do and you don't have a walk in your area,I'm asking if you could donate if you can.I won't ask too much on my blog,maybe again later in the year.Thanks for reading.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

sleeping in general,from person experience..

I don't much about this subject when it comes in hydrocephalus is general.I know it may or may not have something to do with hydrocephalus.I haven't had a sleep study yet personally,but I know that some have a sleeping disorder but some can't find anything with it.Having sleep problems is common with people with hydrocephalus,but not everyone.It all just depends on the person.

Personally it's something I didn't consider having to do with the condition until I started meeting others with it,and we began to learn about what we have in common.When I was a little kid I didn't have any problems,or at least none that I remember.For me it's a problem that started at the start of puberty,which is a whole different story and a more personal one.During that time I was a sleep walker,and did it almost every night.That wen't on for several years but it came to a sudden stop my senior year.Since then I've had problems falling asleep,and then once I do unless I'm in "crash mode" I can't get to the last step of sleep.This causes me to move around me,as in more than anyone should.Also more lately I can be woken up easily,then I have alot of trouble getting back to sleep.Not being able to get back to sleep isn't really new,but I was the kind of kid who could sleep thru,including a couple drug busts only a couple apartments down :)

I plan on going in for a sleep study,but I'm not sure when yet.When I do that I'll write about it,and then about the results.Thanks for reading.